As humans, we constantly yearn for a sense of belonging and acceptance. Our hearts blossom where we are accepted and they wither where we are not. The core of human essence lies in being loved and in this quest, we often end up getting baffled when we are not loved by someone else. We divert all our energy and drive, to seek that love on the outside. However, it remains an inevitable truth that love and happiness is truly an inside job. Once you have mended things on the inside is when you will attract love from the outside.
“Oh come on, not this again”, may be the responses from some of you. Well I know and I totally relate with you, having been in a position where I thought only the love of a certain person would make me happy. Well, guess what, I am grateful that certain person left. Had I been stuck with that person, I would not have discovered what other wonderful things life had in store for me.
The healing is definitely not easy. I am in no way, invalidating your grief. Our hearts are absolutely naïve and dependent when it comes to attachment, better said by a Selena Gomez song – “the heart wants what it wants”.
However, as hard as it seems and sounds, our healing, happiness and sanity totally relies on our effort. Life is tricky that way. Everything good comes with effort, even Love, and the effort we need to put in for love is the full acceptance and love of self before anything else. You can only give to others or receive from others when you are complete within yourself. An external source or another individual may temporarily make you happy. However, for long lasting and fulfilling love, happiness and self-satisfaction, the work must begin on the inside.
So where do I begin you may ask! First, it must be drilled deep in our minds that we are complete in ourselves. Our films, our books and the mainstream love stories have pushed this idea into our heads that only through the companionship of another person is when one is happy and complete. The companionship of another person is of course healthy and fulfilling. However, the lack of the companionship should not be looked down upon. We are absolutely complete and whole within ourselves. The goal of one’s life should not be to find our better halves. We are not a half of anyone or anything. We are born and we live as one whole entity. Only when we completely and truly acknowledge this, is when external love will follow.
We go around seeking validation and acceptance from others and in this process, we often put others before us. We say yes to the world and end up saying no to ourselves. Therefore, the need of the hour is for us to nurture our own broken souls, instead of shifting that burden onto another person.
Let’s become Self Nurturers 🙂